decrepit

the state of illness makes declensions of yourself. you no longer feel like the person you have come to know. your body weighs in differently, the way your voice trails in the midst of congestion. aches that burn joints. nose passages feel like rusted rash. you become more aware of the way your breathing that is halted by the hacking of bodily fluids that are too vulgar to imagine. yet, in the midst of it, you realize the wisdom that you are somewhat limited. your body although a magnificant creation is declining into the midst of regression and you are not the god that suppose you are. i read psalm 41 today and it reminded me that weakness returns us to a place that acknowledge that we need something larger than the proverbial "me." so, here i sit, with the weight of my body being afflicted and i look towards the divine one. the one who is more than me...and for a moment i am not distracted by my own sovereignty and i quietly breathe and remind myself you are the god that blesses the afflicted.